Tips for the Road of Life

What enduring principles can you rely on to make choices that reflect openness, integrity and authenticity?

Here are several that work for me:

1. Always challenge certainty, especially your own. When you think you're undeniably right, ask yourself, "What might I be missing here?"

2. Excellence is an unrelenting struggle, but it's also the surest route to enduring satisfaction. There is no shortcut. Getting there requires practicing deliberately, delaying gratification, and challenging your current comfort zone.

3. Emotions are contagious, so it pays to know what you're feeling. Think of the best boss you ever had. How did he or she make you feel? That's the way you want to make others feel.

4. When in doubt, ask yourself, "How would I behave at my best?" We know instinctively what it means to do the right thing, even when we're inclined to do the opposite. If you find it impossible, in a challenging moment, to envision how you'd behave at your best, try imagining how someone you admire would respond.

5. If you do what you love, the money may or may not follow, but you'll love what you do. It's magical thinking to assume you'll be rewarded with riches for following your heart. What it will give you is a richer life. If material riches don't follow, and you decide they're important, there's always time for Plan B.

6. You need less than you think you do. All your life, you've been led to believe that more is better, and that whatever you have isn't enough. It's a prescription for disappointment. Instead ask yourself this: How much of what you already have truly adds value in your life? What could you do without?

7. Accept yourself exactly as you are but never stop trying to learn and grow. One without the other just doesn't cut it. The first, by itself, leads to complacency, the second to self-flagellation. The paradoxical trick is to embrace these opposites, using self-acceptance as an antidote to fear and as a cushion in the face of setbacks.

8. Meaning isn't something you discover, it's something you create, one step at a time. Meaning is derived from finding a way to express your unique skills and passion in the service of something larger than yourself. Figuring out how best to contribute is a lifelong challenge, reborn every day.

9. You can't change what you don't notice and not noticing won't make it go away. Each of us has an infinite capacity for self-deception. To avoid pain, we rationalize, minimize, deny, and go numb. The antidote is the willingness to look at yourself with unsparing honesty, and to hold yourself accountable to the person you want to be.

10. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

11. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, respect for others and responsibility for all your actions.

12. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

13. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

14. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

15. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

16. Spend some time alone every day.

17. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

18. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

19. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

20. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

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